Ok, TBH I made some posts here before like this "how do I pick a producer name" etc, of course I knew it'd get mostly funny comments cause it's silly thing to ask, but I legit have a problem here... I wonder if some of you can understand or help me with?
Also, I realize this is a really stupid problem lol
I joined internet in 2000, by 2003 I had finally picked my "online username/gametag"
since 2003 to 2015 I had used that name, many forums/profiles/games/friends twitter, youtube, twitch, etc I used that name with and did things. I had some art there, some videos there etcs
So, in 2012 I decided I'd finally start music production as I always wanted to try it out. I thought at this time "hmm, is it okay just to use my gamertag?? Meh, I'll just use it."
So I posted WIPs and met new friends online and posted some songs...
I did this until 2015, of course my profile didn't really take off or anything but I enjoyed it still...
sometime in 2016 or so, I don't remember how or why I convinced myself to do it, but I ended up deleting all my online profiles...
I still go into daw and make WIPs and learn new tricks and try things every week or so and go on online chats with my friends and share them, but I have NO PROFILE online for years now...
I had thought something along the lines of "my past songs are so amateur, I'm so embarrassed by them, my past youtube videos / forums posts are really cringe too, maybe I should start over now that I'm better??"
So I decided to force myself to pick a new name, I'd delete my original one online to stop myself from going back to it but it completely backfired
Now I feel "lost" online, cause that was my online profile with all my original accounts, like just think if you deleted your profile online that you post everywhere under..... and had to start new... Imagine the feeling... it really sucks I'm so stupid for doing it.
I've tried creating new one ones over the years but it's a weird feeling, and I end up deleting them too. It's like "I'm an imposter" "i'm a newby" having a completely new profile fresh to the internet..... It makes me feel like "DAMIT, I wish I had my OG join dates / profiles back"
especially now that it's 2020+ It's so unreal to me to have started in 2020+ on the internet... or with a profile...
I really hold those dates from 2000s to 2015 or so dear to me though, like it's the time I loved the most TBH and the music from that era as well as things I liked....
I don't know what my problem is here... Is it a commitment issue? Is it some ego thing where I want to be known as "OG" on the internet? I've picked out many good names I could use, so I think it's either a fear of commiting again or legit that I wish I had my OG profiles back or something....
I.E. I could just start using the names of my OG accounts again but I've lost the profiles, like there's twitter.com/OGNAME but there's no way for me to recover it as I've dleeted the emails and such, no way to get my old soundcloud/youtube/twitter username etc
so I'm stuck in this cycle of "Do I go back to my old original name, make new accounts with my old name, so I can have some form of internet history again" I.E. I still have some bandcamp songs up from 2012 on the name, that'd make me feel atleast somewhat established again...
or do I "make completely new profile and feel like a newby on the internet, starting from scratch"
Very strange problem, I don't know if anybody here can relate, also I realize I'm being kind of pathetic about all of this... I should just "DO IT" already and start throwing my music out there again with whatever I can.
But do any of you have any advice about this? lol
Also, I realize this is a really stupid problem lol
I joined internet in 2000, by 2003 I had finally picked my "online username/gametag"
since 2003 to 2015 I had used that name, many forums/profiles/games/friends twitter, youtube, twitch, etc I used that name with and did things. I had some art there, some videos there etcs
So, in 2012 I decided I'd finally start music production as I always wanted to try it out. I thought at this time "hmm, is it okay just to use my gamertag?? Meh, I'll just use it."
So I posted WIPs and met new friends online and posted some songs...
I did this until 2015, of course my profile didn't really take off or anything but I enjoyed it still...
sometime in 2016 or so, I don't remember how or why I convinced myself to do it, but I ended up deleting all my online profiles...
I still go into daw and make WIPs and learn new tricks and try things every week or so and go on online chats with my friends and share them, but I have NO PROFILE online for years now...
I had thought something along the lines of "my past songs are so amateur, I'm so embarrassed by them, my past youtube videos / forums posts are really cringe too, maybe I should start over now that I'm better??"
So I decided to force myself to pick a new name, I'd delete my original one online to stop myself from going back to it but it completely backfired
Now I feel "lost" online, cause that was my online profile with all my original accounts, like just think if you deleted your profile online that you post everywhere under..... and had to start new... Imagine the feeling... it really sucks I'm so stupid for doing it.
I've tried creating new one ones over the years but it's a weird feeling, and I end up deleting them too. It's like "I'm an imposter" "i'm a newby" having a completely new profile fresh to the internet..... It makes me feel like "DAMIT, I wish I had my OG join dates / profiles back"
especially now that it's 2020+ It's so unreal to me to have started in 2020+ on the internet... or with a profile...
I really hold those dates from 2000s to 2015 or so dear to me though, like it's the time I loved the most TBH and the music from that era as well as things I liked....
I don't know what my problem is here... Is it a commitment issue? Is it some ego thing where I want to be known as "OG" on the internet? I've picked out many good names I could use, so I think it's either a fear of commiting again or legit that I wish I had my OG profiles back or something....
I.E. I could just start using the names of my OG accounts again but I've lost the profiles, like there's twitter.com/OGNAME but there's no way for me to recover it as I've dleeted the emails and such, no way to get my old soundcloud/youtube/twitter username etc
so I'm stuck in this cycle of "Do I go back to my old original name, make new accounts with my old name, so I can have some form of internet history again" I.E. I still have some bandcamp songs up from 2012 on the name, that'd make me feel atleast somewhat established again...
or do I "make completely new profile and feel like a newby on the internet, starting from scratch"
Very strange problem, I don't know if anybody here can relate, also I realize I'm being kind of pathetic about all of this... I should just "DO IT" already and start throwing my music out there again with whatever I can.
But do any of you have any advice about this? lol
Statistics: Posted by HREQ — Sat Jan 06, 2024 3:48 am